Elizabeth Franklin (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} dear_lizzy) wrote,@ 2006-03-21 22:14:00 |
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Evil Tease
Dear Lizzy,
Over the weekend, I went to a concert with the express intention of flirting with, and possibly shagging, one of the musicians. I did, in fact, flirt with him, but was sorry to see that instead of the gorgeous man with good posture that I remembered, he had since adopted a "scruffy" look, had taken to hunching over, and actually appeared malnourished. He was extremely sweet, and fun to talk to, but partway through the evening I realized that one of his bandmates had a really nice face, and was also fun to talk to.
So my question is this: just how fickle and unkind am I being? Is it in bad taste/horribly immoral to flirt with two guys at once, especially when they're friends with each other? For that matter, is it ok to flirt with strange men when I'm unsure of my intentions towards them? Am I unfairly leading them on?
Evil Tease
Dear Maybe-Not-So-Evil Tease,
It does depend on what you mean by "flirting". If you mean "chatting up", flirting with both probably isn't a problem. If you mean "hanging off them", or "shagging one and coming back for seconds", there might be a bit more of an issue.
As to not flirting with men because you're not sure of your intentions - how many people know what their intentions towards someone will be when they first get to know them? And how does one get to know them, except by chatting with them? If the man (or men) in question are disgruntled by you giving attention to both, they may have issues they need to deal with on their own. If they didn't exhibit any discomfort - or even if they did - and you did nothing more than chat with them, it may be time for you to re-examine your beliefs about male/female interaction.
As a woman, I could be out of touch with the guy's perspective. So, guys, what think you? I'll post a selection of answers next week.
Incidentally - are you enjoying readingdear_lizzy? If so, please promote it in your journal. I need more questions to keep the column going. Thanks!
Dear Lizzy,
Over the weekend, I went to a concert with the express intention of flirting with, and possibly shagging, one of the musicians. I did, in fact, flirt with him, but was sorry to see that instead of the gorgeous man with good posture that I remembered, he had since adopted a "scruffy" look, had taken to hunching over, and actually appeared malnourished. He was extremely sweet, and fun to talk to, but partway through the evening I realized that one of his bandmates had a really nice face, and was also fun to talk to.
So my question is this: just how fickle and unkind am I being? Is it in bad taste/horribly immoral to flirt with two guys at once, especially when they're friends with each other? For that matter, is it ok to flirt with strange men when I'm unsure of my intentions towards them? Am I unfairly leading them on?
Evil Tease
Dear Maybe-Not-So-Evil Tease,
It does depend on what you mean by "flirting". If you mean "chatting up", flirting with both probably isn't a problem. If you mean "hanging off them", or "shagging one and coming back for seconds", there might be a bit more of an issue.
As to not flirting with men because you're not sure of your intentions - how many people know what their intentions towards someone will be when they first get to know them? And how does one get to know them, except by chatting with them? If the man (or men) in question are disgruntled by you giving attention to both, they may have issues they need to deal with on their own. If they didn't exhibit any discomfort - or even if they did - and you did nothing more than chat with them, it may be time for you to re-examine your beliefs about male/female interaction.
As a woman, I could be out of touch with the guy's perspective. So, guys, what think you? I'll post a selection of answers next week.
Incidentally - are you enjoying reading
dear_lizzy? If so, please promote it in your journal. I need more questions to keep the column going. Thanks!
